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  • Writer's pictureKimberly Goodrich

Sober Curious? Here are a few unexpected gifts of sobriety that might surprise you

Over the many years that I have been in practice, I’ve had the honor of watching many people get sober. It’s an amazing thing to witness. But, it’s not really about the “not drinking” part. I’ve found that it’s more about the unexpected joys and gifts that come along with living life without alcohol.

When alcohol (which is a toxin and carcinogen) is no longer influencing the ebbs and flows of our natural emotional and physical wellbeing, some subtle (but BIG) shifts occur. Some, you may start noticing right away. Some, you may only notice if you’re really paying attention or have someone, like your therapist, point them out to you.

Why is it so hard to notice some of these shifts, you ask? Well, they aren’t so black and white. For example, if I stop drinking and start getting to work on time every morning, that is a very clear and concrete change. But…if I stop drinking and my supervisor starts to delegate more responsibilities to me (because I seem more “with it” and dependable), that might not be something I would immediately recognize as connected my stopping drinking per se.

Here are some of those subtle, but BIG, gifts that often come into your life when alcohol is gone.


1. You feel more powerful.

When someone decides to stop drinking alcohol, they embark on a transformative journey that can lead to a profound sense of empowerment. At the outset, they might face challenges as they break free from the grip of alcohol's influence on their life. However, as time passes, they begin to experience numerous positive changes. Physical health improves, mental clarity sharpens, and emotional stability becomes more evident. This newfound clarity enables them to make healthier choices, prioritize their well-being, and develop a deeper understanding of their true potential. As they reclaim control over their life, the individual starts to feel a growing sense of self-confidence and accomplishment, realizing that they possess the strength to overcome obstacles. Embracing a life free from alcohol empowers them to pursue their goals and passions with newfound determination, leading to a sense of empowerment and fulfillment that alcohol could never provide.

2. You start to really enjoy and appreciate your relationships.

Once an individual embraces sobriety, their personal relationships can undergo a profound transformation. Free from the haze of alcohol, they become more present and engaged with their loved ones. They discover the joy of genuine connections, appreciating the depth and richness of their relationships in a way they couldn't before. With newfound clarity, they actively listen, empathize, and communicate with greater openness and authenticity. Sobriety allows them to be fully present in both happy and challenging moments, forging deeper bonds with family and friends. As they navigate life's ups and downs without relying on alcohol, they learn to lean on their support network, strengthening these connections even further. The appreciation for their personal relationships flourishes as they find love, understanding, and acceptance in their loved ones, and reciprocate those feelings wholeheartedly. Sobriety becomes a catalyst for fostering meaningful and fulfilling connections that enrich their life in immeasurable ways.

3. You get more done in less time.

Embracing sobriety can unlock a remarkable transformation in productivity and time management for an individual. Without the influence of alcohol, they experience heightened focus, mental clarity, and increased energy levels. As a result, they find it easier to concentrate on tasks and stay committed to their goals. The absence of alcohol-induced distractions allows them to utilize their time more efficiently, tackling responsibilities with a newfound sense of purpose. Additionally, as they prioritize their well-being, they adopt healthier habits, such as regular exercise and adequate sleep, further enhancing their productivity. Sobriety empowers them to make proactive choices, avoid procrastination, and maintain a structured routine. Consequently, they accomplish more in less time, witnessing a significant boost in their efficiency and overall performance. The newfound productivity not only enables them to reach their aspirations but also instills a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, driving them to continue excelling in both personal and professional endeavors.

4. You have better sex.

After embracing sobriety, someone's sex life can undergo a remarkable improvement. Free from the physical and emotional effects of alcohol, they experience enhanced intimacy and connection with their partner. With increased mental clarity and heightened sensations, they become more present during intimate moments, fostering a deeper emotional bond. Sobriety often leads to improved physical stamina and performance, as well as a heightened sense of pleasure and satisfaction. As communication becomes more open and honest, they can express their desires and needs more effectively, leading to a more fulfilling and mutually satisfying sexual experience. Moreover, sobriety allows them to overcome any previous barriers or insecurities that may have hindered their sex life. Overall, the decision to be sober can lead to a more gratifying and enjoyable sex life, strengthening the emotional and physical intimacy within their relationship.

5. You experience new insights, often.

Upon becoming sober, an individual's personal insights can undergo a profound transformation. With a clear mind and heightened self-awareness, they gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Sobriety enables them to reflect on their past actions and experiences with newfound clarity and objectivity, leading to valuable lessons and personal growth. As they navigate life without the numbing effects of alcohol, they confront and address underlying issues that may have been masked before. This self-reflection fosters a stronger sense of identity and purpose, allowing them to align their actions with their core values and aspirations. Sobriety also opens the door to exploring new perspectives and embracing change, leading to a greater sense of adaptability and resilience. With a newfound sense of introspection, they become better equipped to make positive life choices, nurture meaningful relationships, and pursue their goals with a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment.


These are just a handful of the transformative changes that are unexpected gifts of sobriety. Now…am I saying that everyone should give up alcohol? No, I am not. But I think that it’s worth examining your relationship with alcohol to see if you feel it may be impacting some of these areas of your life and/or if you think things in your life could be improved by eliminating alcohol. If you’re not sure or need to talk it through, a therapist can help. My guess is that most likely, if you have found yourself sober curious, then there may already be a part of you that is questioning your relationship with alcohol. Addressing these issues with a therapist can help you get better clarity of your situation and help you decide what, if any, changes you might want or need to make.

I offer free consultations for people who want to explore their drinking habits. If you’re ready to take this next step – or think you might be – then please feel free to give me a call.

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